Throwback Thursday Returns

Hey guys! Bet you didn’t expect to see a few flashback posts from me,  hmm? It’s been awhile and I scrounged up a few I figured I could share:

Sophomore year (I think?) we went to Outback in April to celebrate Buffy’s birthday. How fitting was that coaster? (And the fact that it’s April – FIVE YEARS LATER, now. What?!)

Andrew McMahon playing piano with his feet (like a boss.) This is from the Something Corporate Reunion Tour of 2010 at House of Blues Orlando. In SIXTEEN days I’ll hear that lovely voice once again.

2010 was a good year for concerts. That’s me and Lauren at the (FREE!) Weezer concert at the Civic Center. I GET TO GO VISIT HER IN CHICAGO IN A MONTH!

It shows up dark but I can’t tell you how filled up with light I am in this picture because my heart was probably about to explode. One of the first shots from study abroad in London. I was watching The Exotic Marigold Hotel last night and I got seriously heartsick for London.

Toga social sophomore year? Next week I get to frolic in Tennessee with this girl. Looooong awaited reunion. EEK!

This is from almost this time exactly, last year. (April 6th? which is Saturday haha.) It’s raining right now, but I can’t wait for pool days and sunshine.

Springtime Tallahassee is this weekend, and this photo is from a few years ago (ok more than a few like five.) AND I get to see this pretty girl (my big sister, Hailey) GET MARRIED at the end of May! ahhh

Okay that was a quick one, but obviously a few of these years have a lot in common with the next coming months for me: good concerts, great friends (reunions!), and fun in the sun with my great family! Looking forward to it. Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!

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Friday Favorites #3

I’m on a roll right? All that neglect, and now you’re probably wishing I’d shut up! Well, well I don’t think you’ll be sorry for checking this out because for Friday Favorites I’ve got a few goodies to share this week.

Stumble Upon sent me an e-mail out of nowhere this week (I don’t remember the last time I logged in!) and directed me to Everyone’s Mixtape. Talk about awesome! I haven’t made any of my own yet, but I’m loving the concept and Stumble definitely knows me well. This description just melts my heart because it means people still get it. This is exactly how I feel when I make those mixes I mail out.

“Everyone’s Mixtape is not about adding songs and hitting shuffle. It’s about the time you looked at a cassette’s length as a challenge. About the time you stayed up most of the night making sure all the tracks flowed from song to song. It’s about the time your heart skipped a beat when the boy from science class handed you your first mixtape.”

Getting to spend the weekend with this pretty lady for her birthday last week! (Photo from our visit to Savannah MLK JR. weekend.)

We had boiled crawfish and homemade icecream and played cards and everyone enjoyed each others company. It was one of the most relaxing weekends in a while, (especially after all the craziness lately!)

The fact that the sun FINALLY shined for a little bit on the beach.

A Pretty Little Liars spinoff show called Ravenswood was announced this week! (Umm hello, they KNOW they can bank off of the PLL audience. I’m ok with that. It’s like L&O that doesn’t give me nightmares. But makes me feel like I’m keeping my investigative skills sharpened.)

OK, I know I did a Wish List post yesterday, so I don’t want y’all to think I’m super materialistic, but it would be mean of me not to tell you guys how awesome these Under Armour shorts are. I own my fair share of Norts (Nike Shorts) from over the years, but I found these when I was on the hunt for St.Patty’s gear and my word they are my new favorites. I wish I could wear them to work. I even went back and got the redish/coral color (with a Sports Authority coupon so I didn’t feel so guilty.)

Friday Favorites

Ohh hey, everybody! This has been a crazzzy week in my world, like no other. (I’ll catch you up in a re-cap of my Jax adventures in an upcoming post.) But Happy Friday to all, and I’m back with some Friday Favorites!

“But really, even when it seemed like I was doing nothing at all (and when I believed I was doing nothing at all), I was actually hard at work on the real labor of your twenties — figuring out who you actually are.

Guess why this is the most important thing you have to do in your twenties? Because you are you forever!”

Welcome back insightful, right on the money, reading my mind articles Thought Catalog. Nice to see you, again. (This one is pure gold if you haven’t read it yet – check it out!)

The spring finale of Pretty Little Liars aired on Tuesday night. Amidst all the chaos of course I saw it! (And fan girl-ed beyond the hour that it’s televised.) Also, this TVGuide article is a bit spoilerish but verrry intriguing. It feels like they’re letting us in on some secrets!

IMPORTANT NEWS: JOHN MAYER IS BACK IN ACTION! I was able to catch most of the Google+ Hangout last night, and he’s announced a miiiiillion date tour. (Florida, September 2013, here’s lookin’ at you kid!) Plus he played a new song “Dear Marie.” (Can you guess what my favorite line is? Probably obvious: “Remember me, I’m the boy you used to love when we were fifteen.”

Amazon sent me a heads up about Sara Zarr’s upcoming release of The Lucy Variations. Yes sirree!

One of my favorite friend Meg’s upcoming visit countdown is in THE SINGLE DIGITS, now! What?! Yes.

I found out Silver Lining’s Playbook will be released to own on April 30th, heyyy!

Probably Why I Feel Tired

It doesn’t seem to matter what phase of life we’re in, middle school, high school, college, post-college – things don’t change that much. (I would say people are the same, but I know deep down we’re really not or that would be so boring!) By this I mean, I don’t think it matters how simple something starts off as –  people always seem to be looking for more. If something begins on a kind of platonic level, I always find that the simplistic, basic, normal level of things doesn’t seem to last long. Maybe I give off some kind of vibe I am unaware of, but this is has happened my whole life. (Until you know you meet a person that you want to have a non-platonic relationship with, and they don’t see it the same way. So it goes, right?) But really. I mean, why can’t a straight guy and a straight girl just be friends without some kind of underlying expectation? I for one, have always operated using The Butterfly Test. Sure I’ll hang out with someone with an open mind, but if I don’t feel it, if it’s not there it’s the truth when I say I’m not going to miraculously develop feelings for you later.

Maybe I need to just start posting Craig’s List Missed Connection ads. Would it be totally creepy to write something like “Hey! Bearded guy running down Thomasville Road on Tuesday around 630pm in front of the bike shop. I liked your pace, wanna run sometime?” Yeahhh, and that’s probably how you meet the serial killers…

I’m driving home from work, rambling to the ever-faithful listener, my mom about how maybe I just don’t like anyone? (Not like as a human being, but in a romantic context.) Then I see someone running down the street and blurt out how they’re pretty cute. And of course, this is better than just some stranger you see in a parking lot somewhere because I can already deduct that we have running in common. Then about .7 seconds later I see my ex-boyfriend pulling out of a local park. Surprise! That seems very typical of life, and the weirdness of the way things happen.

All of my dreams this week seemed to revolve around weddings in one way or another, which is completely strange. Sure I have two to attend coming up (one at the end of May, one at the end of June,) but really? Why so on the brain? Earlier in the week I dreamed that I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding for the second time. I didn’t know the groom. It was a chaotic ordeal. I felt really uneasy about the whole thing. Then I was talking to a friend about her own wedding in the dream, that I was in, which didn’t happen in real life. (You know like your subconscious creates fake memories?) Then last night I dreamt that I was wandering around in my compression socks (they’re obnoxiously hot pink and bright) and I wasn’t even running which was so weird, and I was apparently looking for a wedding date? I got set-up with one of my male friends who is gay, at the same time as I got set-up with a stranger. It was just, weird. Completely weird. I woke up kind of disoriented.

It all makes it sound like I really have relationships on my mind, but honestly I don’t. You know what I’ve been thinking about lately? Friendship. I have some incredible friends in my life, but they are scattered everywhere. Literally. So, I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like. (I’m working on this because money is just money, and who ever knows how much time they have? And I don’t want to be sitting here saying “I wish we could’ve hung out just one more time.” Though don’t we always wish that when the inevitable happens?) But really time goes by and as we get older some of my friends are settling down into a different life. Getting married, having babies, real jobs that mean you can’t just take off days and days of work for some exotic spontaneous trip…And it makes me ache a little because although in some people’s worlds it doesn’t seem to work like this, in mine it has – it feels like as these life changes happen, new boundaries are drawn, and I feel confined to small little boxes in each relationship. And I get it. There’s an appropriateness to things, certain parts of life have to change because we aren’t who we used to be when these changes come. And most of my friendships have always had this weird dynamic, a certain energy that buzzes in the air, that’s heavy with an intimacy not of the physical type, but in the connection – the depth of the heart. And I know these can’t carry on when others are added to the equation.

But lately, I just miss what it’s like to pile in a car and drive around, adventuring. I miss cramming on a couch having movie nights, (or Olympic nights, or Degrassi nights haha.) I miss sprawling across beds staring at the ceiling, talking about life. The future a fuzzy cloud of uncertainty in front of us, imagining the possibility. I miss sitting on kitchen floors with my feet tucked under me, giggling at everything and nothing. Feeling like in that moment, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I miss going on walks in the still of the night, only the light of the stars shining down, and the things that only go spoken in the safety of the dark. I miss making pancakes at random times of the day. I miss the way that music sounds different when you’re listening to it with someone else, as it fills the space between you in a room.

There are certain people who just know me like no one else. The silence is comfortable. The laughs are the deep kind that make your stomach hurt. Lately those relationships just feel far away, and like they’re slipping through my fingers. I know the tone changed here, but the thing is I’m not really looking for what people probably think I am. It’s not about boyfriends or romance. It’s that sense of companionship, a partner, sharing experiences with people who get it. This is the stuff I’m carrying around all day. It makes me smile because I’d have to know the happiness of such moments, to miss them but it gives me heavy boots to feel the weight of it, too.

Monday Morning Surprise

This is what the sky looked like out the kitchen window this morning. (I took this from the back deck.) It was a pleasantly welcomed surprise view as I ate my bowl of some kind of cinnamon crunchy cereal. I was a bit irritated because I feel like what is the point of weather forecasts? The low was supposedly 45 degrees for the day, but at 5am it was only 35. That’s a big difference. It was warmer when I woke up at 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep. (The irrational side of my brain thought why don’t I just go for a run now, and then take a nap afterwards? Apparently that wouldn’t have been a bad idea.) Anyway, now I’ll have to run tonight but that’s ok because Thursday night the sky was really clear and starry, maybe I’ll luck out. Today has been kind of a rough Monday already. A lot of times I get stuck with “being in charge,” which really just means cover everything without any elevated authority. (And in my personal opinion, I don’t get paid enough for how much I get put it charge of dealing with things all the time.) Also, there hasn’t been a day when the internet has cooperated at work for the whole day, in about a week. ANYWAY! End rant. Just it’s a Monday, following a particular rough weekend, but you don’t really need to hear all the gritty details, they’ll bore you I promise. It’s not even noon, there is plenty of time for today to perk up. (If you live in California, Nevada, England, Arizona, or NYC you’re in luck! The Postal Service has announced their first tour since 2003, with extremely limited dates – jump on that pre-sale! Again: why don’t I live in London?) Hope you have a beautiful Monday lovelies!

Thankful Throwback Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers. Hope you all have a nice holiday, and that you find a moment of peace and relaxation in what can be a chaotic day – whether it may be with family, friends, work, whatever – the holidays can always be stressful, but I’m wishing you some slow down time.

I’m in Mexico Beach, my brother and I (left in that photo) drove over last night after I got off work. We’ll spend a couple days with the family here (thankful for them too! no matter how chaotic are time may be together.) before we head back to Tallahassee for the game this weekend. This photo isn’t that far of a throwback, but it’s one of my faves of us as a group basically ever. We got some stranger to take it on a beach walk over the summer. But yeah, I’m sharing this one today because I am so thankful for each of these people. Somehow they’ve managed to put up with me for twenty-five years (E’s only got 21 but he was around for the teenage ones and I’m pretty sure those count more for how rough I was on everyone.) My mom, dad, and brother have very different personalities, (we all do,) but some intertwined similarities at the same time. Smart, funny, kind, compassionate. Seriously, I don’t think I could be surrounded by more supportive or encouraging people (towards me and everyone else they encounter.) There hearts are huge, and a constant reflection of their love for Christ. I can only hope that after so many years some of these qualities have rubbed off on me.

I’m thankful for my housemate, Alex. Probably one of the biggest Craig’s List successes ever. I moved back to Tallahassee during a random part of the year when all my friends already had their living situations taken care of. (Thankful shoutout to Camille for taking me in, then!) Luckily, Alex had a spare room she’d advertised on Craig’s List. After a visit by with my brother, I moved in during October and have lived there ever since. She’s one of the sweetest, generous, most caring people I know! Plus, she’s mucho entertaining to watch TV with. Her commentary makes me laugh until my stomach hurts. Also, it’s pretty exciting to watch news coverage with someone who has similar political opinions. Annnnd she got sucked into Pretty Little Liars with me, so when she’s in town I’m not sitting on the couch screaming by myself haha. So thankful that she’s put up with me for so long, and is such enjoyable company!

Two in one – example: thankful for snail mail and the people who participate in it with me, and for friends who know us well. Thankful for my big sis Hailey who sends me awesome mail like this. We don’t get to see each other as nearly as either of us would like, (I’m not even going to tell you the last time we saw each other because it’s embarrassing!) But she knows me well, and she is one of the most grounded people I know. Strong in her beliefs and goals, and such a good role model. Love love love her. I’m thankful for all of my Phi Mu family, and sisters near and far. For their support, the bond of getting to share the trials and joys of life. My life would not be the same without them. Such a blessing! You know who they are, as I’ve shared pictures of them constantly 🙂

I’m thankful for all my friends, no matter how spread out we may be, no matter how much time passes between our visits. Thankful for the ones I can laugh with, and cry with. Thankful for the ones you fall asleep chatting with. Thankful for the ones who are always up for a good sing a long at the bar, or on a roadtrip. Thankful for the ones who know the rich value of sitting in the basement of a favorite Mexican restaurant just chatting, catching up, and giggling for hours. Thankful for the ones who get my weird obsessions for anything English, to dinosaurs, photobooths, Olympics, parks and outdoor activities, funky music taste, and YA fiction. Thankful for the ones who’ll gallivant down towns with me. Thankful for the ones who are always up for a fro yo run, or other sweet tooth indulgence. Thankful for adventure partners, thankful for people who will gladly let you crash on their couch. Thankful for the ones who are down to just hang out and bask in the gloriousness of one another’s company. Thankful for wind down days of front porch sitting. Thankful for the ones who hold on through my intense phases. Basically thankful for the ones who love me for being me, and make the world sweeter just by being in it.

Something new I’m thankful for this year is this new found passion in running. I’m thankful for my health. Thankful that I’ve been blessed to be able to have this as an outlet. Thankful to not have injuries that prevent me from doing something that I love. Thankful that I’m finally taking care of myself, that my health is important to me on the inside and outside. Thankful to have found that we are capable of more than we’d ever imagine.

I might act like I’m miserable at times, or tweet some mundane complaints, but I am aware that there are plenty of great things going on in my life. I know and love some pretty awesome people. I have the ability to get ridiculously happy about very simple things, and that makes a lot of parts of life really joyful. I’m not thankful for these things only on the holiday of Thanksgiving, but really grateful all the time- though, it doesn’t hurt to point out these things once in a while.

Weekend Musings

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“More than anything, I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world”

I was running and Snow Patrol’s “You Could Be Happy” came through my headphones. I was tempted to skip the song because it’s not very upbeat for a run and it used to have a tendency to make me cry. Instead, I just listened as I tuned out the pitter patter of my feet on the pavement. I’d stayed in bed longer than most Saturday mornings, constantly checking The Weather Channel app on my phone, waiting for the sun to come out of hiding and make the temperature rise to a degree I could convince myself was a bit more bearable. Because of all that I was able to see the sunlight shining through what we have to show for fall foliage in Tallahassee. Tall trees, wide limbs that stretch out to cross the street like arms extending hands to shake hello, fill my line of vision. Sunlight trickled through the leaves, lighting them aglow with yellows and orange if you look close enough. All of this gave me just enough to think about to distract from the time on the clock. I always thought that line was, “more than anything I want to see you grow.” Funny that it’s not, because it’s always had a weight of meaning to it while I’ve listened. For years I’ve had a few people in mind when I hear that song. Maybe not anyone who actually walked away from me, but people who ties have been severed, (or at the last seriously frayed.) I’ve thought about their potential for life, their ability with a magnetic personality to light up a room, the kinds of smiles that stop strangers in their tracks, and the happiness you want someone else to find going out on a limb and finding the most out of what life has to offer. I guess this whole time, (kind of like a Taylor Swift song) I’ve been singing a long with these people in mind. But this time, it occurred to me…maybe, I’m singing to myself? These songs aren’t about these other people anymore. While I still want them to be happy, I want myself to take a bite out of the world. I want to venture out and reach this unknown potential. At least attempt to do so. See what happens in the process. It’s always the journey that creates the memorable experience anyway. The getting there, and not where you get. My brother was in New Orleans this weekend. I’ll tell you, I may have been a little bit envious because my wanderlust bug has been on high alert lately. I want to feel the miles on the map between where I am now, and somewhere else. By plane, by car, just that freeing feeling of adventure (and maybe a little bit of escape.) But even more I’d like to create a situation, where I don’t feel a constant need for that, not the perpetual nagging from the inside begging for a little escape. And all that seems attainable, I just have to figure out what changes to make. In the mean time it’s a step that I’m serenading myself for a change, and maybe I should recognize my own potential before it dries up and disappears.