Words for Thought

(Sunset over Doak Campbell taken Monday night – too beautiful to capture correctly.)

I stumbled across this quote on Tumblr this morning, and it so eloquently words thoughts I’ve tried to express for years. Word to the wise: don’t allow toxic people to consume you and the happiness in your life. It’s ok to let go.

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”

Daniell Koepke

Georgia Roads Bring Us Home

Passing somewhere through the middle of Georgia, after we finally found a rest stop. Bonnaroovians padded slowly down the same sidewalks, sleepy eyed and dazed after days of adventures. I watched a dark haired boy reach his tanned hand through the bars shielding the vending machine, attempting to retrieve some kind of snack. The moms dragging their toddlers across the slick restroom floors, didn’t know how odd it seemed to be using a bathroom with lights and flushing, and running water in the sink. We’d grown accustomed to the plastic box life of portapotties, and keeping a roll of toilet paper in your backpack, and following the path to a dusty street in early morning light. This early morning light was different. We were still alive with possibility, but sleep was battling for my brain waves and all my thoughts started to get hazy in the struggle to resist. I may have nodded off for a few minutes. I may have surrendered to the dreamy thoughts, not ready for all our beautiful moments to start the transformation into memories, a distance that can’t be crossed once it’s been created. I could only think of this land, a paradise carved out from the rest of the world where worries can’t reach you, and every stranger is a new friend to be made. The stories of these gorgeous people, and their journeys and their exquisite passion for life resounded in my ears lulling me to sleep. When I awake, my dreams weren’t real dreams, they were revisited thoughts of the same things I was pondering before I took that snooze. My mind is littered with the sensation of wet grass beneath your feet, moonlight bathing an open field in a soft glow, and the ease that accompanies life and the people you entwine yours with when you are absolutely, positively yourself. Love in its purest form because there’s no space for anything else.

Friday Favorites

Hello, hello! Happy Friday everyone! I know my posts have been sparse this week, but I wanted to drop in and share some videos and such for my Friday Favorites. Check this stuff out, enjoy, and have a faaabulous weekend!

If you missed Blake Shelton’s Healing in the Heartland telethon on Wednesday night, be sure to check out this video of he and Usher singing “Home” together. I love every version of this song, I think. From the classic by Chantal Kreviazuk in the Dawson’s Creek days, to the Buble version Phi Mu used in our icewaters day recruitment video, to Blake’s twangy version. The benefit concert was fundraising for United Way to support the rebuilding of Oklahoma following the devastating tornadoes from last week.

 

 

Also, Miranda Lambert’s “The House That Built Me” ripped my heart out. That girl is one of my favorite celebrities & musicians, in all senses of the titles. She wears her heart on her sleeve, whether that means super teary moments, or her fiesty I don’t care what you think attitude. She’s got one heck of an awesome personality, and I love seeing people that are true to themselves all the way succeed like she has. Also, hello – especially in relation to the tragedy in Oklahoma, this song is so appropriate and heartwarming.

 

 

I basically spontaneously decided to go hang out with my parents at the beach again this weekend. Who knows what the weather will be like, but we could cross our fingers for something like this?

My roommate showed me this crazzzy Tallahassee rap video. You gotta check  it out:

 

 

If you missed this photo this week, look at in all of its awesomeness. (Credit to Quinn Miller.)

The Today Show did a story on it, and apparently the couple is still on their honeymoon so they’re not aware that this photo has gone viral. If you know me and my love for dinosaurs then you wouldn’t be surprised that this is going on that mental to-do “just in case” list in the back of my head. AMAZZZZING. My friend said her fiance wants to do this, and I’m in total support of that choice.

Monday Morning Surprise

This is what the sky looked like out the kitchen window this morning. (I took this from the back deck.) It was a pleasantly welcomed surprise view as I ate my bowl of some kind of cinnamon crunchy cereal. I was a bit irritated because I feel like what is the point of weather forecasts? The low was supposedly 45 degrees for the day, but at 5am it was only 35. That’s a big difference. It was warmer when I woke up at 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep. (The irrational side of my brain thought why don’t I just go for a run now, and then take a nap afterwards? Apparently that wouldn’t have been a bad idea.) Anyway, now I’ll have to run tonight but that’s ok because Thursday night the sky was really clear and starry, maybe I’ll luck out. Today has been kind of a rough Monday already. A lot of times I get stuck with “being in charge,” which really just means cover everything without any elevated authority. (And in my personal opinion, I don’t get paid enough for how much I get put it charge of dealing with things all the time.) Also, there hasn’t been a day when the internet has cooperated at work for the whole day, in about a week. ANYWAY! End rant. Just it’s a Monday, following a particular rough weekend, but you don’t really need to hear all the gritty details, they’ll bore you I promise. It’s not even noon, there is plenty of time for today to perk up. (If you live in California, Nevada, England, Arizona, or NYC you’re in luck! The Postal Service has announced their first tour since 2003, with extremely limited dates – jump on that pre-sale! Again: why don’t I live in London?) Hope you have a beautiful Monday lovelies!

A simple saturday morning.

When I got off work last night I drove across town to the Greenway. (Luckily, on my way over I picked several random side roads and wound up exactly where I needed to be.) There’s really nothing like a trail run through the woods, pretending I’m Katniss. Ridiculous or not, I kind of have to or otherwise I’m too riddled with anxiety from all of the sounds in the bushes, and convinced a bear might eat me. Also, there were men climbing over the fallen logs deep in the trees and that kind of made me paranoid. Other than that, though? Gorgeous. Just wonderful. My favorite kind of tired. Plus, I was there for optimal sunset time.

Today is already off to a good start. I slept in later than usual, for me and when I drug myself out of bed for a quick morning run it was sunny and windy and I didn’t care. I was able to pre-order Something Corporate’s limited-edition clear vinyl issue of the Leaving Through the Window album! And I made sweet potato pancakes with dark chocolate chips, and a little PB2. Most of my cooking doesn’t look very pretty, and this was up there in the unsightly category, BUT delicious. Fishbraided my hair, the sun is still shining, and I’m listening to the Jack’s Mannequin Pandora station and it’s spitting out all the good ones so far: DCFC’s “Brothers on a Hotel Bed,” Of Monsters and Men “Little Talks,” Imagine Dragons, THE FORMAT! Anyway, yeah – there’s just so much we don’t have control over that when all these little moments of simple perfection appear, it makes my heart pretty happy. The only downfall to this morning is that we’re out of coffee (well, rather we’re not according to my roommate but she’s out of town and I don’t know where it’s hiding.) Off to remedy that!

Wednesday Words

(This photo has nothing to do with the post, except that it’s from the last time I was at the beach – a windy, stormy, cloudy day. I think it’s fitting for a reflective post.)

Yesterday, I was filing some old jobs in the storage room and a thought came to mind that I immediately figured must have been from a dream the night before. (Though I should have recognized from its pleasant nature, that it was real life. None of my dreams have been very sweet lately.) It was just a glimpse of a memory, sitting next to someone on a front porch. Dusk settling into the evening, casting shadows on the street in front of us. Knees brushing, sitting side by side. A cold bottle of beer in my hand. Laughter, the deep kind, that slowed down as the words started to flow in hushed tones, as the conversation turned more serious. Not serious in a boring way, just serious in that way where after hours of talking you know you’re sharing things in a bit more thoughtful way. The words are still flowing, but both sides of the conversation are listening deeper. It’s the way we know we’re revealing a layer of ourselves. My heart swelled when I realized it wasn’t a dream, but rather a sweet moment that occurred a month or so ago which I’d tucked away somewhere in the back of my mind. It wasn’t infatuation that made me appreciate that moment, but I was happy to be reminded that these special connections are still occurring in my life no matter how few and far between. Times like that are my favorite. If every weekend was full of quality encounters like that, I would be extremely content.

Weekend Musings

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“More than anything, I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world”

I was running and Snow Patrol’s “You Could Be Happy” came through my headphones. I was tempted to skip the song because it’s not very upbeat for a run and it used to have a tendency to make me cry. Instead, I just listened as I tuned out the pitter patter of my feet on the pavement. I’d stayed in bed longer than most Saturday mornings, constantly checking The Weather Channel app on my phone, waiting for the sun to come out of hiding and make the temperature rise to a degree I could convince myself was a bit more bearable. Because of all that I was able to see the sunlight shining through what we have to show for fall foliage in Tallahassee. Tall trees, wide limbs that stretch out to cross the street like arms extending hands to shake hello, fill my line of vision. Sunlight trickled through the leaves, lighting them aglow with yellows and orange if you look close enough. All of this gave me just enough to think about to distract from the time on the clock. I always thought that line was, “more than anything I want to see you grow.” Funny that it’s not, because it’s always had a weight of meaning to it while I’ve listened. For years I’ve had a few people in mind when I hear that song. Maybe not anyone who actually walked away from me, but people who ties have been severed, (or at the last seriously frayed.) I’ve thought about their potential for life, their ability with a magnetic personality to light up a room, the kinds of smiles that stop strangers in their tracks, and the happiness you want someone else to find going out on a limb and finding the most out of what life has to offer. I guess this whole time, (kind of like a Taylor Swift song) I’ve been singing a long with these people in mind. But this time, it occurred to me…maybe, I’m singing to myself? These songs aren’t about these other people anymore. While I still want them to be happy, I want myself to take a bite out of the world. I want to venture out and reach this unknown potential. At least attempt to do so. See what happens in the process. It’s always the journey that creates the memorable experience anyway. The getting there, and not where you get. My brother was in New Orleans this weekend. I’ll tell you, I may have been a little bit envious because my wanderlust bug has been on high alert lately. I want to feel the miles on the map between where I am now, and somewhere else. By plane, by car, just that freeing feeling of adventure (and maybe a little bit of escape.) But even more I’d like to create a situation, where I don’t feel a constant need for that, not the perpetual nagging from the inside begging for a little escape. And all that seems attainable, I just have to figure out what changes to make. In the mean time it’s a step that I’m serenading myself for a change, and maybe I should recognize my own potential before it dries up and disappears.